Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans

Incredible news on the science front. This new strain (and it's not specified whether it's bacterial or viral) explains so much about the little City of Lake Worth. How else can you explain those red signs about town? Logically they make no sense whatsoever but a strain could explain things. From the article:

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report) – Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life [emphasis added], a sobering new study reports.
     The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them.
     “These humans appear to have all the faculties necessary to receive and process information,” Davis Logsdon, one of the scientists who contributed to the study, said. “And yet, somehow, they have developed defenses that, for all intents and purposes, have rendered those faculties totally inactive.”
     More worryingly, Logsdon said, “As facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful.”

If any updates are forthcoming, such as an antidote, will let you know immediately. Now, about those red signs . . .

The 'architects' of the failed business plan at the Lake Worth Casino complex.