Contest in Lake Worth! Closest to correct answer wins BIG! Prize cannot be disclosed to prevent hysteria

You may or not be aware there may or may not be another newspaper coming to Lake Worth this month. The speculation is the serial 'journalist/editor' Margaret Menge is at it again with more election leadup monkeywrenching. But who knows for sure. The people behind this effort are being very hush-hush which sort of defeats the purpose of a legitimate business, doesn't it?

A panel of Lake Worth's finest (secret for now) will determine who is closest to winning this contest from the five categories below. . .

1. Pick the day of week the paper makes its splash (Friday?)
2. What is the paper called? (for example, The Tribune Redux, The Hazy Sun, The Weekly Shock?)
3. The publisher is from where? Pick one: Lake Worth, Atlantis, or Nowhere (News For Hire).
4. Choose how many times these words are used in the first edition: "Shock", "shocked", and "pitch".
5. And lastly, how many ads will appear for a coffee shop/church: don't hesitate to aim high.

Write down your answer and seal it in an envelope. You're on the honor system so keep it fair!

Here's my answers: 

1. Friday.
2. The Lake Worth Blot.
3. Atlantis.
4. Shock: 19. Shocked: 52. Pitch: 68.
5. 7, including one full-page ad with color.