The Borowitz Report: "Louisiana Breaks Off Trade Relations with Ireland"

Andy Borowitz of The Borowitz Report has this breaking satirical news on Louisiana Gov. Jindal reacting to the recent vote in Ireland:

BATON ROUGE (The Borowitz Report) – In the aftermath of Irish voters legalizing gay marriage, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal has used his emergency powers to ban all Irish products from the state.

[and. . .]

     Jindal explained that breaking off trade with Ireland was necessary to protect the sanctity of marriage in Louisiana.
     “Every time someone takes a sip of Guinness, a part of straight marriage dies,” he said. [emphasis added]