Sunday, October 2, 2011

Reading between the lines...

On this coming City Commission regular meeting agenda of 10/4, Commissioner Maxwell is requesting that the City Commission follow through the on the Office of the Inspector General's recommendation as contained in the following portion of their report issued to the city:
Click here for the entire item.  Essentially, he is asking for a review of the project to date to make sure that there aren't any issues that might impact the ultimate success of the project.

This is the City Manager's rejection of the idea and her stated reasons for it:

This is what I imagine was the internal monologue that went on in our City Manager's mind as she composed her recommendation on the item:

Oh sheezus, Maxwell won't let this die.  What to do, what to do?  Hmmmm.  Well, hmmmm, first of all I will highlight that this request comes from Commissioner Maxwell.  That is sure to raise the hackles of the other members of the Commission - he is such a wet blanket to PROGRESS.  Too bad he is un-opposed in this election - we have to put up with him another two years, at least.  MUST KEEP MARGINALIZING HIM AT ALL COSTS.  It's so difficult to deal with dissent.  Apparently he hasn't bought into the fact that I am always right, never wrong and that I always win. 

Well, I guess it's a good idea to put this OIG thing in context.  Gotta remind everyone how busy I am.  They are probably tired of me saying that I work 110 hour weeks - I guess they have done the math and realize how much of a stretch that is.  No, it's time to mention the Greater Bay lawsuit.  We have managed to keep that quiet for the two and a half years I've been here.  Unfortunately, I initially bought into how the lawsuit would just go away and that Greater Bay wouldn't follow through on anything.  Oh gosh, now it seems like the court thinks they have a case.  We didn't count on that, did we?  So, now we have to start bringing it up  and make it seem like they are beating up on the city.  Let's put down some unreal number of documents that the city had to produce as part of the lawsuit - yeah, that's kinda like saying I work 110 or more hours a week.  I bet the people will think that the copiers were working overtime in city hall - we will look soooo important.  Which is good.  We have to make them look like the bad guys, even though the city is in such a poor position and spent all that money to defend breaking the contract.  Where will those millions come to settle the judgement....?  Oh, well, tomorrow is another day....

Now that is out, part of preparing the public for the big shock when the city loses the case, I gotta make Maxwell look like the bad guy.  Yeah, gotta mention that he hasn't been for the project ever (even though he voted for it many times - oops, can't think about the facts here).  I just have to make him out to be unrealistic in his demands and make it seem like he is just a trouble maker.  Yeah, that's it.

No, what I have to do now is talk about how the city keeps moving forward regardless of anything that lies in its way.  WE HAVE TO GET THAT BUILDING UP.  That way people will stop asking all these uncomfortable questions that we don't have answers for.  Oh, why do people pay attention to local government anyway?  Sometimes I wish the public would just go away and realize that I know best.  Yes, time to talk about all those bad people that are taking my precious time - let's pull out those Greater Bay bullies again just to wave fresh meat for my supporters on the dais.  Can't really say it, but the ends do justify the means here - GOT TO GET THAT BUILDING UP.  It was so difficult to hide the fact that an entire building disappeared!  WOW, if they gave Academy Awards for such things, I surely wouldn't have gotten one.  Geeez, that was close.  La, la, la...got to make those that noticed irrelevant.

Gotta make it seem like anyone against the project is against jobs and economic development.  Yes. People have to forget that so many changes have happened since we put together the business plan that it is hard to prove that the project will not rely on other monies than what is generated by the leases and the parking.  Oh, what was I thinking...can't go back and look at that now.  Better we go forward with it and GET THAT BUILDING UP.  Then, the questions will go away and we can use that "cash portfolio" line again - wow, wasn't that a classic!  Ha, and that the city will pay itself back.  Wow, that's why I'm where I'm at.  Geez I'm good.

Gotta mention my brilliant career and then talk about ACTS OF GOD - We are so much the same anyway.  Let's just brush by the builder's risk insurance issue by mentioning hurricanes.  Gotta leave room for 25 cent ice cream cones by mentioning some tenants may not be successful in satisfying the financial requirements of the project.  Here I can say that, once I am long gone and outta here, the city can do all kinds of forensic audits on the project.  Yeah, what would I care then?  I am so busy trying to justify the unjustifiable to do anything else.  Gosh, we need better attorneys..."we just are too busy right now" - yes, way to busy too look at anything that could be laid at our feet.  MUST GET THAT BUILDING UP!!

I guess I have to mention the Inspector General...wish I didn't have to but they are a reality, but nothing says that we need to make their job easy.  Or do we have to agree with anything that they say or recommend.  Time to make it seem like I care and offer the opportunity for anyone to submit their own complaint if they think we are doing something wrong.  GOT TO GET THAT SMOKE  MACHINE WORKING...where is that warranty?  When I am adamant about something, they need to know that I MEAN IT.  Yes, we will cooperate but only on OUR terms.  Now, how about that building...GOT TO GET IT FINISHED!!!!